Last weekend the campground put on a Luau / Pig Roast, the catch being that no one on the campground staff had ever done a whole pig on an offset smoker before. You can probably see where this is going.

A propane-tank smoker was borrowed and readied the day before the cook by getting its firebox door welded back on, and three of us were volunteered because we had some experience, although not on that cooker.

Surely the cooker owner knew how to operate it, right? Wrong!

By the time I wandered over I found about nine feet of pigs crammed into about six feet of usable space and the firebox jammed full of some charcoal and lots of smoldering wood, billowing vast clouds of thick white smoke.  Yet more lighter fluid was applied to the mass without much effect.

After a while us three volunteers were left on our own, so I decided to shovel that smoldering mass out on the ground, put the fire grate in the firebox where it was supposed to be, and build a proper fire.  By that time the pigs were pretty well smoke-coated but at least it wasn’t creosote.

We decided that the cooker was happy for an hour or so and wandered off. We came back to find the temperature way up and the wood I’d laid on the firebox to dry out had disappeared. I didn’t think anything about the wood at the time but I should’ve.

After a couple of times of that I installed my wireless thermometer so I could sit on my porch and keep an eye on the temperature.

All was well for a couple of hours, then the temperature climbed a bit, then went way up. Grease fire! One of the volunteers had seen the orange glow from all the way over at the pool and was getting it under control by the time we got there. The drying wood was, again, missing.

We put two and two together and came up with five. We had a helper.  Obviously someone was wandering over and throwing in wood, causing temperature spikes and clouds of smoke.

We decided the only way to stop that was that we’d have to sit there all night and since I’m a nightowl anyway I got first shift. The temperature spikes stopped, no more grease fires.

We had company all night and met some really…er…interesting people. We were making so much noise around dawn that I think people brought us coffee just to shut us up!

My other two volunteers showed up a while later and we proceeded to pull out one pig for pulling and flip the other for presentation. That’s a little more involved than it sounds since they were around 65 pounds each. But with a lot of shuffling around and singed arms it was accomplished.

We pulled pork and we pulled pork and we pulled pork. Once we finally got through with that bedtime had arrived!

The other two had some restaurant experience so they arranged service while I happily snored for a couple of hours. The staff cooks magnificently turned out all the other food on time from a standing start Saturday morning.

We served a bunch of people and no one was complaining. The pigs were ugly but they sure were moist and tasty.

I learned that if I’m going to cook with all wood in an offset a burn pile to shovel coals from is really necessary; never, ever, leave the pit unattended, and if a cooker is ugly it’ll probably cook that way.  But it was a fun night and the event was a success.

A guy here in the park suffered a series of mishaps a couple of weeks ago, beginning so innocently…

He pulled the black tank handle and, lo and behold, nothing happened. After some more fiddling with valves, he reached the inescapable conclusion that the tank drain was plugged up.

Now it gets interesting.

Not really considering the possible ramifications, he got one of those rubber ball things that you put on a water hose and stuff down a toilet to dislodge a clog with water pressure.

He dislodged the clog all right; he BLEW UP the black tank! Split that sucker! Made a spill BP would’ve been proud of.

He spent his long July 4 weekend under his 5er replacing the black  tank.

Now when you think this story doesn’t get worse…it does.

After all that it’s time to go home, so he cranks up his newish Beemer and drives it smack dab into a tree stump! The same stump that’s been there for years and he’s been parking next to for years. Pushed the radiator into the fan; that’ll be expensive.

Some days you eat the bear and some days the bear eats you.

Well,  not so much about owl sex, but got your attention didn’t it?

Mom’s been watching the owlbox video stream and moderating the chatroom for three months now.  14.5 million users/chatters later, the last owlet has fledged;  it’s all over. Molly and McGee flew into the owlbox today and Carlos turned off the cams to give then some personal time.

Think about it folks, 14.5 million people tuned into Ustream to watch a brood of barn owls hatch, grow up and fly away.

It was a growing experience for Mom. She’s learned to ignore the squawks and horks from adult children. They’ve fledged and will make their own way.

And Mom has fledged, flown the coop too.